Tag: amanda rickenbach

Danielle Chassin Mama Mala Thief and Bandit

Motherhood is Magic: Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness

2 Comments

Danielle Chassin Mama Mala Thief and Bandit

Motherhood is magic. It really is. It’s also really hard, most of the time. But those moments of magic remind us of how special motherhood is, of how fortunate we are to share our lives with children. In my view children are the best teachers, showing us the everyday magic around and within us. They show us how to forgive and forget quickly. They show us how fascinating life is. How special a flower petal is or how inspiring a stick is. They show us how we can live life full to the brim with curiosity and joy. Children are magical beings, full of wonder and belief. 

mama mala meditation

In reality, all this magic I’ve described, the things I’m calling magic are the simplicity and yet deep complexity of the natural world and human perspective – which we are too often closed to. Magic, essentially is about bending reality against the normally understood rules of the universe. With magic, things do not go as planned, our expectations are challenged. I suppose this is the magic of motherhood: things do not go as planned. But when we open our perspective to the beauty and potential of the unknown, the unplanned, to the awe of the moment and the complexity of life, we are opening ourselves to everyday magic. We’re encountering reality with a fresh perspective, one that does not repeat stereotypes and closed perspectives. With magic things appear very simple and yet are actually very complex. This is the same as nature. Nature, its scale, diversity and complexity are truly mind-blowing, and yet nature appears to be the simplest of things. We can find the magic of nature in ourselves and around us, with the help of a child’s perspective.

As mothers and primary caregivers we are fortunate to be part of that magical world children see, spin and invite us into. A large part of this magic comes from living present in the moment, opening our perspective to something new, rather than applying existing expectations to a situation. Children are expert at being here now. Opening themselves up to all the opportunity and wonder available in front of them and inside of themselves.

I was asked to share a yoga, meditation or mindfulness practice as part of the Motherhood is Magic week, and I couldn’t think of better inspiration than children. Below you’ll find easy instructions for a simple meditation you can do alone or with children.

 

 

Motherhood Is Magic Graphic

My friend Heather, from Mama Malas, has organized a week long challenge celebrating presence and intention in motherhood through yoga, meditation and mindfulness. Starting this past Monday, a simple challenge is shared by one of the hosts each day, a yoga pose, a meditation or mindfulness exercise to help mothers. Although Monday has passed, it is not to late to join in! We know mothers are busy people, so join in when you can. Participants in the challenge who follow the hosts and sponsor accounts and share a photo on Instagram will be eligible to win prizes. { update: winners were drawn and notified on March 14, 2016 }

Here’s how to participate:

  1. Find the hosts on Instagram and follow them to get notified of the daily challenge: Hosts are: @coldcupoftea, @ameliakyoga, @hippieindisguise, @mamamalas, and @namastetiff.
  2. Find the sponsors on Instagram and follow them to be eligible for prizes!
    1. @BYogaNow is a Canadian yoga mats, accessories and apparel line that is eco friendly! B Yoga Now is offering a B YOGA Mama Pack, a B Mat Strong (6mm) – extra cushioning and thickness for Mama’s comfort, and 2 B Blocks- for support and modifications for Mama, plus a surprise Pre-release B Yoga Product
    2. @kanthabae is an American textile inspired brand making gorgeous handmade designs for women and babies. Kanthabae is offering a stunning RingSling
    3. @thelovemoreshop is an American shop selling products inspired by love, encouraging others to love more. They share the profits with couples to help them nurture their relationship by sponsoring date nights. The Love More Shop is offering a Gift Certificate
    4. @mamamalas  is a Canadian company making mindfulness jewellery. Mama malas is offering a mala of the winner’s choice
  3. Repost the challenge image (see above) on your Instagram account OR tag a few friends on the Instagram image and ask them to join you, link to the image here
  4. Post a photo of you on Instagram completing any (or all!) of the daily challenges and tag #MotherhoodIsMagic and the hosts and sponsors

Join in as often as you can!

So, here’s my challenge to you: 

I have found profound benefits through meditation and mindfulness practice, especially since having children. I like meditation because you can put just a little time in a get a lot of benefit out of it. At first, I was thinking of sharing a meditation practice that I do with my children, that is relatively simple and enjoyable, but I was really inspired by the simplicity of the challenges shared by Amanda (a mindful walk) and Amelia (savasana/corpse pose) earlier this week, so I wanted to share something everyone could accomplish. Often, for the uninitiated yoga, meditation and mindfulness can seem complex. On top of this, mothers and primary caregivers usually don’t have a lot time or energy to spare, so I wanted to share something that anyone could fit into their day. (However, if you are craving a slightly more involved meditation with children, check out this post here, where I explain the Sa Ta Na Ma meditation I practice with my children and myself.)

Tea Meditation

My challenge to you is to find the magic in a moment, an ordinary moment, by bringing your full attention to it, by connecting to the present. This means focusing on now. Be here now. Be where you are now. Be here in space and time. Leave out thoughts of things to do later today or tomorrow. Leave our regret of things past. Just be in the moment. Do this alone or with your children. Try to spend 5 minutes just living now, only now. As I said above, children are very good at this so don’t hesitate to include them.

If you haven’t done this sort of mental exercise before you may find it challenging. Your mind will wander forward and backward in time. Your mind may be drawn to check your phone, to pay a bill or to compose a grocery list. You might imagine yourself in a different room or outdoors. When it wanders just gently bring your focus back to the present. It will really help if you have something to easily focus on in the present.

Making yourself a warm cup of tea before you start will help. Start your five minutes with your hands gently hugging the mug, feel the heat, the sensation will keep you in the present moment. Feel your skin against the mug, feel the gentle vibration between your hands and the mug. Observe the smell, observe the steam. If you find your mind wandering hug the mug with your hands, remind yourself to be here now, be present. (If you don’t like tea, substitute another drink, if you like cold drinks that works too). It may help you to gently, slowly repeat the mantra “be here now” aloud or in your mind.

This meditation encourages mindful presence and connection to the moment. Children really enjoy this, so feel free to include them in it, with their own cup of (luke warm) tea. And, of course, you can choose something else to focus on, tea is just an example, but a tasty one!

Mama Mala with lavender tea
I hope you enjoy this challenge and find a way to practice it not just today, but everyday. Five minutes of pure presence will be greatly beneficial to your mental energy and your feeling of inner calm. This sort of active meditation can help reduce stress and anxiety and encourage compassion, patience and understanding. Enjoy!

***

Long time readers of this blog might remember that I’ve interviewed a few of the mothers hosting this challenge. If you’d like to know more about @Namastetiff read an interview with Tiff here “Empowering Motherhood” (and see some stunning photos!), @mamamalas read an interview with Heather “Malas and Human Connection” here, @coldcupoftea (and @thelovemoreshop owner) read an interview with Amanda about the Love More Stories here.

***

Let’s be friends! Please come find me in other places:

The Love More Stories

6 Comments

A few months ago I was asked to contribute a story to a collection that would be called The Love More Stories. At the time I didn’t know of The Love More Shop or the kind woman, Amanda, who ran it. But I said yes, because, well, she had me at the title. The book was released last week just in time to give Mother’s Day a little bit of extra celebration this year.

COVER

The Love More Stories is an e-book of 15 personal stories written by mothers about learning to love more, whether it was loving themselves more, their children more, their partner more, someone or something else more. The stories are honest, some very raw, inspiring and enlightening. I am truly honoured to be in a collection full of such wise stories words written by some very inspiring women.

My story talks about our decision to have only one child, based on the idea of loving the earth more, by taking less from it, but also based on a surprising admission from my husband. Here’s a little excerpt:

“My heart still wanted that big family, so I began to talk about adoption, which I thought Matt would agree to since it wouldn’t bring new people into the world. And this is when I got an answer I never ever expected. ‘Danielle, I love Ro so much there is just no way that I could ever love another child as much. I would never forgive myself for having a second child in the family that I didn’t love as much. That child would know, they would feel the lack of love. And if by some crazy stroke of fate I did love that second child as much as I love Ro, then I would certainly have to rob Ro of some of my love.’ I could see the calculus of love floating in thought bubbles above his head. Like any resource, there is a finite amount. In a family you only have so much time to share among its members, there’s only so much food in the fridge and bedrooms in your home. Who was I to say, naively, that there would be enough love to go around? When I thought about the woman living in the apartment below us, who had 19 children (yes, nineteen), I thought Matt’s right, there is no way she loves any one of those children as much as we love our one child. This was without any poor judgment of her, it was pure math, pure logic. And so, once again, I conceded to Matt’s view. It would be one child for us. Logically, I knew he was right, but I’d be lying if I said my heart was happy about it.”

There’s an interesting twist in the story that brought us to our two children, but you’ll have to get the e-book to read how our story unfolded.

***

As the collection came together, and I got to know Amanda a little better, I wanted to interview her to share her story and get the word out about her project with the Love More Shop. I love hearing from women who have been able to follow their passion as mothers. If you ask me, that is living the dream.

What part of the world do you live in? 

I live in the beautiful state of Oregon. After six years in Portland I just recently moved my little family back to Hood River, where I grew up an hour east of Portland.

How many children do you have and how would you describe them?

Theodore (who goes by many nicknames but I call him Theo) is pushing two years old. He is a happy, energetic, and curious little guy. He loves to play outside and is obsessed with trains, nursing, spaghetti, and dancing. I’ve never seen a baby bust a move the way he does and I love it. He is turning into a toddler now and I love seeing the ways he changes and grows each day. When you are a parent you notice all the “unnoticable” things. “Oh he has never walked up that slope without falling!” “That’s the first time he said “R” like that!” I didn’t expect to notice as much as I do before becoming a mother. He takes all of my energy and he is amazing.

Graham is my seven year old step son. He is mature beyond his years and has a wisdom that most kids his age don’t. My partner, Isaac, raised him on his own for the first three years of his life so they have a special bond. Being a stepparent is far more challenging than I ever expected but I have also learned more than I ever imagined. Through him I am learning that I can’t hide from my pain or my shortcomings. Through him I am learning that the only way out is deeper in, enveloped in a blanket of love. Through him I am learning what it means to be a true and vulnerable woman.

I could write a book about our experiences navigating the waters of step parenting and dealing with the pain caused by his birth mother because it’s been a huge part of our life for the past three years, maybe someday I will.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

What are your core family values?

To be kind and loving. We are broken people that have felt what darkness really feels like – something I am grateful for because we haven’t been destroyed and each day that we live an honest life we discover that we won’t ever be destroyed by it. We try our best to be kind, good people even if that means we are going to be uncomfortable or that we aren’t going to get what we want; that’s our goal each day.

Processed with VSCOcam with f1 preset

How do you spend most of your days?

I spend most of my days trying to figure out how to do this mom thing well. Our life has been chaotic for the past three years. A lot of uncertainty, a lot of transition and change, a lot of disappointment to move through. I crave routine and structure and I think it’s on the horizon with our move to make a better life for our family and our new home.

I stay home with Theo and run my shop the best I can while he sleeps. We spend a lot of our time at the park, library, cooking, taking multiple baths a day, and going on walks.

Processed with VSCOcam with c2 preset

What is your favourite thing to do as a family?

Now that we are in the new house we like to work out in the yard together. Planting our garden and making our home our home. We like to go to the park, having dance parties, building forts, sitting down for dinner together, and going out for coffee and donuts or pizza. Snuggling up to watch a movie together is also a favorite.

Processed with VSCOcam with c2 preset

What are you passionate about?

Motherhood, living simply and well, natural childbirth, documenting my family, design.

What inspires you?

Other mothers being honest and real. Other mothers embodying their values and beliefs.

Water is something I need when I want to feel inspired or connected. A bath, a shower, walk by the river, float on a lake, listening to the rain. Water grounds and inspires me.

Processed with VSCOcam with c3 preset

Did your career aspirations change once you had a child?

Definitely. I have always wanted to be a mother and when I got pregnant I knew I wouldn’t want to return to working away from home. I was a designer and I didn’t want to go back into that world unless it was doing something that I truly believed in. Even then, I was not about to leave my baby with someone else both because I just didn’t want to and childcare is too expensive for what designers make around here.

So things shifted and are still shifting. I am hoping that design can weave it’s way back into my life in the near future. We will see!

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

What is The Love More Shop and why did you start it?

The Love More Shop is a brand that reminds people to love their family, friends, and world more each day because creating empathetic, kind, whole human beings starts in a loving home. Our shirts remind each other to love a little more each day – because there is ALWAYS more love and sweetness to give.

A portion of proceeds goes toward sending parents out on dates to nurture their love with the idea that creating a loving home starts with united and loving parents. When our baby boy was a few months old our friends gave us $100 to go out on a date. It was such a thoughtful and unexpected gesture that really touched our hearts. We were broke but desperately needed some time out together and to escape one evening for a couple of hours together. (We pretended we didn’t know each other and drank too much.) Love More had been my mantra for a few years and then I thought “well why not print it on shirts and see if I can sell them and give back in someway.” I wanted to find a way to give back that was authentic to me and a little different and what our friends did for us inspired me to help other parents have a night out together. So, each time the Love Fund reaches $100 we donate that money to one sweet couple to go out together and nurture their relationship.

It’s small and I know that giving people cash to go on on date together won’t heal the world. But it’s something and it starts a conversation and hopefully when people see the shirts being worn it will inspire them to love a little more.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

What is the Love More Stories book all about? And why did you want to publish it?

I started a series on the blog in September called The Love More Letters. They are short love letters written by about a dozen mothers who wanted to participate. Then I thought it would be nice to collect longer stories to put together an e-book that would inspire mothers to love more in their own lives or celebrate the ways they already do. I love reading other peoples experiences when they come from an honest and vulnerable space. I can feel what they feel. I am tired of the judgment and shaming of how mothers choose to raise their children. There needs to be more acceptance and empathy and my hope is that sharing simple stories will help build understanding and community.

LMS button2

How can people buy the Love More Stories?

On our website right here.

What are your dreams for the Love More Shop and your family?

My dream is for the Love More Shop to grow into a movement of some kind and a business that can help provide for my family. I want to be sending a couple out on a date each week! Wouldn’t that be awesome!? I also don’t plan on simply selling shirts forever and I think the e-book is the start to growing into something bigger.

lovemoretote

Be sure to visit the Love More Shop to read the Love More Letters and to see what else Amanda is up to. You can also follow Amanda on Instagram @thelovemoreshop.